What is it you ask? Shape Shifting!
That’s how I embrace what is happening as my weight slightly increases, gravity starts to pull, and the decades of southern California sun begin to show on my skin.
I could just get angry at the changes, deny the years under my belt, get defiant and self-recriminating. Force myself to run another lap, ride another mile, do squats until my knees give out. Give up on the joy of wine and cheese, and start counting calories. Insist that I still rock those jeans from 10 years ago just to fit some unrealistic standard that I will inevitably fail at living up to.
Or I can work to accept my current beauty.
The first and most important step is to not compare myself to others. (Easier said than done, I know). But if I have to compare, I only allow myself to do it with people my own age. I am not allowed to do it with the lovely 20+ year olds at the gym. You know, the girls with the taught skin, beautiful perky breasts, and wide, bright eyes.
And you know the wonderful thing is, people my age are lovely! We are young, vibrant, healthy and wise. We may not still have wrinkle-free eyes when we smile, but we have lines of life, of experience, of joy.
And our bellies my not be flat anymore, but that’s ok. Femininity is supposed to be soft and round and supple. And… my greatest achievement made my loose and luscious belly. Her name is Claire. Claire Olivia. It means Clarity and Peace. But I digress.
The truth is, health is far more valuable to me these days than thin. That wasn’t always the case. I was raised to believe that thin is the best. It is the worth of a woman. It is how we attract the man that is going to care for us. And if we don’t stay young and thin, then that man might leave us, turn us in for a new model, and we would be left destitute.
So, you can see thin wasn’t just a beauty aspiration, it was a life-saving measure.
Imagine if I still operated on those beliefs while becoming 47. Those beliefs wouldn’t allow me to feel beautiful, worthy or safe. My nervous system would be on high alert. Fearing my man leaving and my security threatened, I would go full force into trying to be 20+ again, left only to fail and feel even less worthy. And the self-denigrating would continue until I ended up under a surgical knife or on anti-depressants.
Fortunately I know this really cool technique (hypnosis) that allowed me to access my subconscious mind where those antiquated beliefs lived. And I was able to free my mind of those limiting thoughts and generate new beliefs about beauty, worth and the priority of health.
So now I refer to my changes as Shape Shifting. And I like it. It feels like a Super Power. A special gift. Something to envy.
Last week I had my physical, which I fondly refer to as ‘health confirmation’, and was happily surprised that: 1) I didn’t dread getting on the scale, 2) that I didn’t berate myself because the number was 7 lbs larger then two years ago, and 3) that the Doctor said numerous times that my weight and BMI (body mass index) were excellent, well within a healthy range.
So clearly weight loss does not need to be a priority for me. However, body confidence and self-acceptance- always!
But sometimes we need to drop some weight for health reasons, and that is fair.
So whether you need to release some pounds, or release some negative beliefs about your body, yourself or your worth, check out my Weight Release Series. I am offering 10% off through May 20th. (Coupon Code: ShapeShift)
Why release you ask? (as opposed to loss) Because our minds are programed to find what we lose. And let me tell you, once you let go of the weight and/or the old beliefs, you are not gonna want them back!
Now, all you ladies out there that can relate to this journey of self and body acceptance, please head over to my notebook and share your stories in the comment section. Your experience offers us all strength and hope.
Cuz let’s face it… we are all going to change, so let’s change for the better.